Review of Muniya’s Light

Philosopher’s soul

by Roopinder Singh

Muniya’s Light: A Narrative of Truth and Myth

by Ramchandra Gandhi.

Bose Sahib, the legendary teacher, philosopher, cricketer of St Stephen’s College, Delhi, often came to the college campus long after he had retired. He attended the Philo-Soc (Philosophy Society), meetings at the residence of his protégé, R. K. Gupta. Among those who dropped in at 3 pm on Friday afternoons at Dr Gupta’s residence were Ramchandra Gandhi, another of Bose Sahib’s students, Jeet Oberoi the sociologist; Ashok Vohra and Vijay Tankha, faculty members, and many students and some guests.

Every week was a different experience, as everyone held forth on various papers presented for discussion. With a brilliant mind and a diction that flowed seamlessly, even as the language shifted from English to Urdu via Sanskrit and Hindi, Ramu Gandhi was a treat, and you were loathe to admit that you did not fully comprehend the point he was making.

Muniya’ s Light reminds this reviewer of the Philo-Soc meetings. Ravi Srivastava is Ramu, and he is not. (The character in the book graduated from the institution “across the road”) and Bose Sahib’s presence is felt, as he appears more than once. The novel is a story of how a 58-year-old professor of philosophy is excited at meeting Ananya, daughter of a friend, a 22-year-old Indian graduate student in America, with whom he would be flying back to India, via London, on the first anniversary of 9/11.

Ravi has known Ananya since her infancy, and the novel explores the fascinating hold she had had over him since her childhood, only now, the feelings are not just avuncular. That Ananya has flunked a test that involves fundamental questions regarding Indian philosophy gives Ramu, Nay! Ravi, the stage to come forth with a discourse on varied aspects of the teachings of Advaita Vedanta as well as those of Jnaneshwar, Ramakrishna, Sri Aurobindo, Gandhi and, above all, Ramana Maharshi. Moral episodes from the Mahabharata are narrated brilliantly and given a contemporary relevance.

Ramu makes the girl child the focus of his work. To him, she is the “unexcellable portrait of Atman”. Babu loves Ananya, in not quite an avuncular way, now. However, he has also helped her evolve into a thinking individual and, thus, she shows her care and affection, while steering clear of his desire to possess her.

As this reviewer read the book, it did not evolve as a novel. The story is subsumed by the message it seeks to convey at various times, much like some grand stories and myths. The characters are not fleshed out, and descriptions are minimal, only much dialogue, where Ravi dominates the discourse, much as Ramu did during Philo-Soc meetings.

‘ is self, a variation of that form’

The following is excerpted from an interview with the author at his best known address— the India International Centre, Delhi.

How much of Ramu is in the protagonist?

When you are writing a book of the Advatian or the non-dualist point of view, you have to begin with yourself, because all is self, a variation of that form. So what looks autobiographical is merely a result of following that principle. Because you know yourself best, if you create a protagonist, you have to be with that protagonist, as if you are with somebody else, so that there is much in your life that is in the protagonist, and much that is not. I have not written the books that he has written; I wish I had.

How long did it take you to write the book and where did you write it?

It took me two years. I wrote it in cyber cafés in Delhi and Bangalore because I wanted to write in the real world, not sitting in the isolation of my own home. I would write for five–six hours, often I would not write for half an hour or so and they would come to me and ask “Machine kharab ho gai hai kya?” I would reply: “Machine kharab nahai hia, mera dimag kharab ho gaya hai.” So I would have great fun. I had done my earlier works by longhand, but I wanted to experiment.

Many of your characters just make a brief appearance?

I have followed the Sanskritic tradition of the Mahabharata, the Ramayana elsewhere, in which characters come, do something significant and go. They don’t come back again, unlike in the modern novel, where they keep coming back.

But your characters are not fleshed out, even the clothes they are wearing are not described?

Yes. This is true; after all, in the Mahabharata, Bhimas clothes are not described. The idea is to make the soul, the personality clearer, which is difficult if you concentrate on the clothes etc.

Does Ramu the philosopher dominate Ramu the storyteller?

I am a philosopher. Even if I am writing a novel, there has to be something philosophically different, new, if you like, which I should be able to unearth. Recurring all through the book is the argument that we are certain about our own existence. There can be no doubt about that, but in the objective world, in the world around, the only thing that matches it is that no one can doubt that we have all been children.

We don’t know what our birth is like, we don’t know death, but everyone remembers his childhood and associated with childhood is the feminine figure, a mother or a dai. We have forgotten the girl child as being the reflection of the Atman.

Who is your favourite character in the book?

Archana, Ravi Srivastava’s wife, is my favourite character. She really understands the loneliness of this man. She is caring. The first question she asks Muniya is: “What does Babu look like now?”

Thoughts on Ramu Mama…

Ramachandra Gandhi: Philosopher and Friend By U R Ananthamurthy – Posted on November 6th, 2008 I first came across Ramachandra Gandhi (Ramu Gandhi to me) at a restaurant in Oxford. I saw him (then, he must have been of age twenty six or twenty seven years) from a distance.  When my friend pointed at him saying, ‘Look! That’s him! Ramachandra Gandhi’, I stared at the man looking for any resemblance with Mahatma Gandhi’s ears. I showed that man to my little son also. Many years later, when I narrated this all this to him, he spoke about the sea of change that had occurred in his way of thinking since those days. His first book was published in those Oxford days, amidst his pure western thinking and had earned him considerable fame. Later, he rejected all that to become a true Indian seer. It was at Nehru Centre that a well known European philosopher was deliberating on our days and times. Just as the audience was recovering from the awe of the speaker’s eloquence of ideas, Ramu stood and sent quivers among the audience by pointing towards the relevance of Ramana maharshi and the state of consciousness the sage had attained, in order to properly understand our times. Embarrassment of the audience lured to western knowledge was palpable since they were being forced to welcome an Indian sage amidst them.   Ramu Gandhi was among my close friends. I would be all ears and mind to Ramu’s words as much as I was to my other friends like our Subbanna, Ashis Nandy or Shiv Vishwanathan. Despite the fact that we were close friends, there was respectable space between us. This was true of most of his friends. I would always find him at the India International Centre (IIC), the place where he died. Nevertheless, I wouldn’t talk to him each time I saw, as he would always be sitting in a corner in a state of deep meditation, with a glass of rum in front that wouldn’t get emptied for long. Some curious onlookers would introduce him to their friends; ‘This is Mahatma’s grandson’. Immensely embarrassed Ramu would then tell me: ‘These pranksters deliberately do so to imply that Mahatma’s grandson is a rum consumer’. Ramu’s problem was not just about having one famous grandfather; but two. His other grandfather, maternal one was none other than morally upright and shrewd Rajaji.     Ramu Gandhi was a jangama in the real sense of the word. He never attached himself to any specific job. After he returned from Oxford, he was appointed as professor of Philosophy at Hyderabad Central University, where he developed the Philosophy department to a level that is still recalled today by many of his peers. His department building was an old bungalow where Smt. Sarojini Naidu once lived. It was an old and beautiful structure with plenty of trees in its courtyard. The vice-chancellor of the university set his eyes on the tree, especially on one particular giant tree which was dear to late Sarojini Naidu. He decided to cut it. Ramu opposed it vehemently. Notwithstanding, the tree was felled and on the same day Ramu resigned and walked out of the university. After this incident, Ramu never stayed in any job for long time. He invested some amount on one small room in a house near Delhi’s Bengal market and lived there all alone. His daughter would visit him occasionally.  His room looked empty and dreary except for a photograph of Ramana maharshi with his stiff stick in hand pressing the floor, sitting on a boulder with crossed legs, almost naked, except for a small piece of cloth around his waist; more naked than Mahatma himself.  Ramu had presented another photograph he had of Ramana with merciful look in his eyes to my wife Esther just after she had recovered from cancer. Framed photograph was slightly heavy and Ramu was visibly embarrassed about it while presenting it to her.  That picture still adorns the wall of my house. Everyday, Ramu Gandhi would visit IIC to read and have his light meals. There was a joke among us, his friends: `Ramu Gandhi is a jangama, but with an attachment towards his room and IIC’. Probably he had chosen to stay in the central room of IIC to escape Delhi’s scorching heat and must have breathed his last in his sleep. Few months back I had invited him to Bangalore; an invitation he had accepted gladly, by replying ‘I would love to; but right now my health is not cooperating’. Ramu Gandhi had the habit of taking out his pen and scribbling his random thoughts on a small notebook. One could frequently see him strolling in Lodhi Gardens wearing one waist-coat upon another on his creased kurta, suddenly stopping between steps and scribbling in his notebook. I felt he resembled an ancient sage and sometimes even like Rishi Doorvasa. Let me recall an incident to illustrate what I mean: When a mosque in Ayodhya was demolished and nation was engulfed in fear and violence, Ramu Gandhi shared an idea with me. ‘Within next fifteen days, we will all stage a march from Parliament house to Birla house, place where Mahatma was killed. Therefore, from today onwards I will be renouncing rum. Convey this to all your friends, I will also do the same’. In spite of our best efforts we could gather only around twenty five people for the march. Ramu didn’t lose heart. Every good work starts with small bunch of people, was his view. One fine morning we all gathered at the place decided earlier. Ramu was our leader. He had chosen Tagore’s ‘Ekla cholo…’ for us to sing during the march. Initially, I found our small group of twenty five, seriously marching through the large Delhi crowds, bit embarrassing. I am not sure now, whether it was the strength of Tagore’s song or the tenderness on Ramu Gandhi’s face, we all were able to involve ourselves in the noble objective shedding our false dignity and walk in line with discipline. Although people around were laughing and mocking at us sometimes, singing intensely in unison we reached the place of Mahatma’s assassination and offered our prayers in silence. Some Tibetian monks later joined our meeting and offered their prayers in their own manner. Though Tibetian way of praying may sound strange to some of us, the very strangeness moved us nevertheless. We returned from the place after some of us spoke. (For Ramu Gandhi, the only other person to retain Gandhi’s commitment to nonviolence was Dalai Lama). Occasionally, Ramu would want to come out of his meditation to get active. He told me once, `Mahatma was perhaps the biggest tantrik. In Ramu’s opinion, right from spinning wheel to salt march and in the end walking bare foot through Noakhali with a stick in hand taller than him, scouring toilets, clearing rocks and thorns from the pathway, all such acts were techniques of a good tantrik to attain the desired. Looking at everything as symbols that are free from the `self’ and are meaningful signs of soul, was the way of Ramu’s thought process. Mahatma Gandhi carrying the stick that taller than him and walking through Noakhali indicated to Ramu, Mahatma’s urge to grow in stature higher than what he was then, by means of a stick that was useful in the uneven areas. Mahatma was his grandfather. But many times it would appear to me, Ramu had completely surrendered himself to maharshi Ramana. He would keep bringing evidences that bolstered advaitha philosophy that would sound convincing enough to us.  The book he wrote about Tayyab Mehta’s Shanti Niketan trilogy is a classic example to illustrate this. He wanted me to write the prologue for that book. Nobody else in the world has written such a book on art of painting. Book is a prolonged meditation, where the external painting meets the inner mind to become one, the advaitha. He was pleased with one particular remark I had made about the book. I had compared Ramu’s writing in that book to illuminating arati to the gods in temples. I had said that his writing in this book is like, starting to illuminate with only one lamp initially and then lighting many others, circulating them around the vigraha, occasionally pausing in between and slowly but gradually illuminating the whole sculpture and making it visible for us completely in arati’s light. Ramu Gandhi’s other brilliant book of course is Sita’s Kitchen. What sangh parivar looks at as Rama’s birthplace, Ramu shows us the same place to us as Sita’s kitchen.  No other book on Ayodhya incident has been written with such an immense Indian sensibility and consciousness. These last twenty years have been filled with plenty of confusions and conflicts for me in my mind. Ramu as my friend and philosophical teacher taught me how to win over hate, animosity and jealousy that we have witnessed in these years, not just by rejecting them with the aid of secular and materialist worldview, but also by rejecting them on the grounds of deep spirituality.   When I was living in Kerala, I had invited him to a conference. He came happily. Along with him, my other friend late Nirmal Varma and philosopher Daya Krishna were also there. So was Daya Krishna’s American wife clad in sari, kumkum on forehead and with her neatly combed hair, most of it she had lost owing to cancer. She expressed her desire to visit the famous temple of Guruvayur. Ramu took her to see the temple. But, Priests didn’t permit her inside the temple stating she is non-hindu. Ramu recalled his grandfather immediately and protested. He refused to enter the temple without her and returned with Rishi Durvasa like temper. Ramu had an in depth faith in Indian shastras, various religious sects within Hinduism, Vedas, Upanishads and myths, along with it the quality that was inherent among our ancestors of being `an argumentative opponent’. I also saw in him quite frequently, how the same person can also be vehemently angry about Hindus’ pettiness, casteism and communal arrogance. He had this desire to have a debate with an eminent Islamic scholar and win! That too about advaitha! Ramu would suddenly think of new ideas. For example he had told me once how he would catalogue the various philosophical books in the library he would construct. He said, ‘one section would contain books by only those who believe God has both form and essence; these are the books written mostly by vaishnavas, second section will contain books by only those who believe God has no form but only essence; these are the books mostly written by Muslims, Christians and Jews. The third section will contain books by only those who believe that God has neither form nor essence. These are the books by Buddhist philosophers and sages like maharshi Ramana’ to which I added, ‘books on vachanas of Allama’.   At that point, I also raised a thought little mischievously, ‘I can understand the concept of God having both form and essence, or God not having form but only essence, or God neither having a form nor any essence; but is it possible to perceive God having a form but no essence?’ Ramu, though a man of austere silence, would sometime get into Nitze’s Dionysian kind of enthusiasm. When in a state of high, he would talk animatedly shaking his entire body. `Well! That is bureaucracy!’ he had replied laughing boisterously. He would point us to anybody who would come across and like a cartoonist would compare him to some creature, make us laugh to let out from us an innocent joy, only to re-withdraw himself into the world of maharshi Ramana instantaneously. Ramu Gandhi had written something that is politically impossible for anyone else to write. On the question of `whom should Kashmir belong?’, he had written: ‘If Pakistan can become a secular state like India, treating all religions with equal respect, then it is not an important question for me, whether Kashmir is in Pakistan or in India’. Those who are able to speak like this have love for their nation without the angst of a nationalist. And a belief that all religions survive based on the strength of their intrinsic truth and not due to the institutions built with warrior like instincts. Thus, Ramu keeps surfacing in all of my thoughts. This way, he will always live within me

Kurai Ondrum Illai (My Family Song)

My family has a song…I know it may sound weird but we do. The crazier thing is that shortly after I moved to India and met my mentor the late Professor Ramchandra Gandhi I discovered that his grandfather had actually written the song! Here is an interesting piece I just found.  Enjoy!

Rajaji’s unknown collaborator As is so much about Chakravarti Rajagopalachari, his song `Kurai Onrum Illai — No Regrets Have I’ — is a paradox. In attempting to place it both within and outside Rajaji’s inner being, GOPAL GANDHI believes that the metaphysical composition had a co-author; an individual who worked subliminally in Rajaji’s mind … . A special tribute to Rajaji on the occasion of his death anniversary that falls on December 25.       Rajaji… rarely moved by emotion.   WHEN Chakravarti Rajagopalachari wrote Kurai Onrum Illai, what was on his mind? The question must arise in most listeners as they hear M.S. Subbulakshmi render that Tamil song in her magical weave of music and prayer. He was known to be, essentially, a cerebral being, an aquiline Sri Vaishnavite who could use his powers of reasoning and articulation to telling effect, often against one’s own judgment. Among Mahatma Gandhi’s front-ranking associates, he was regarded as one who had brought to the cause an essentially intellectual vigour, Jawaharlal Nehru saying of Rajaji, “His brilliant intellect, selfless character, and penetrating powers of analysis have been a tremendous asset to our cause”. Jayaprakash Narayan described him as “a mental phenomenon” and Professor Hiren Mukerjee in a moving article has said “Rajaji came to be known as the brain behind the right-wing constellation around Gandhiji”. K.P. Kesava Menon, Chief Editor of Mathrubhumi observed in a birthday assessment, “Sri Rajagopalachari is rarely moved by emotion”.     Rajaji’s letter to his son-in-law Devadas Gandhi.   But it needed no more than a slight engagement with Rajaji to feel the vibrations of an aquifer within him of pure emotion, of sadness, in fact, of sorrow. His life had been anything but what could be called happy. Death had stalked his contentment. His wife Alarmelamanga died when he was 37, and their youngest child, Lakshmi, three. He was to lose a much-loved son and both his sons-in-law, Varadachari and Devadas Gandhi, the elder one widowing Namagiri at 26 and the younger widowing Lakshmi at 45. At Namagiri’s loss, the Mahatma telegrammed Rajaji: “God must be your rock”. When a future President, R. Venkataraman met Rajaji to condole with the septuagenarian at Devadas’s going, Rajaji told RV it was not a great thing to live a great age, “One has to bear the sorrows of the next generation”. He certainly had regrets, corrosive regrets. And yet, Kurai Onrum Illai. As with so much about Rajaji, the song is therefore a paradox. It has been composed by a man of religion, born to Vaishnavite orthodoxy but disclaiming every encrustation of religiosity barring the sacred thread; a vegetarian by habit and conviction but fascinated by the culinary details of that sanguinary Scottish repast, haggis; a teetotaller and prohibitionist but an honest admirer of the Punch advertisement: “Don’t be vague, ask for Haig”; a Savonarola of serious intent but Sharian in caricaturing others (T.T. Krishnamachari introducing a grandchild to Rajaji: “He is mischievous”. Rajaji: “But that runs in the family”); an ardent admirer of Tilak but follower of Gandhi; a “no-changer” and “anti Council-entry” among Congressmen in 1922 but a proponent of support to the British war effort in 1942; a firm believer in free enterprise but never in possession of one extra rupee; a devotee of Rama who could yet say that the killing of Vali by the Prince of Ayodhya was and will remain indefensible. Kurai Onrum Illai is the composition of that complex mind, a mind that had its share of human sorrow but had a talent for sublimating his private sorrows into inner responses of an altogether original quality.     The Raj connection… Lord Lady Mountbatten and Rajaji (second from right) before their visit to Burma.   This article is intended to place that song both within and outside Rajaji’s inner being. For I believe the song had a co-author, an individual whose name is lost to history but who worked subliminally in Rajaji’s mind, through recollection merged with devotion, to create the song. The year was 1925. The Congress had rallied its adherents — satyagrahis and non-cooperators — across the country to boycott the Raj’s courts, symbols of its arrogance and power. There was no question of lawyers in the Congress like Rajaji taking up legal cases. But an exception arose. Let Rajaji describe the episode in his own words as written to his future son-in-law Devadas Gandhi: Gandhi Ashram Tiruchengodu 24.12.25 My dear Devadas Yours affectionately, I have been away from my place since 21st and will be there only tomorrow. I am writing this from Salem where I have broken journey for a day. I am returning from Chittoor where I argued a case in court! (As perhaps you have already read in the papers) you can read a report of this unexpected event in The Hindu of 23 December.     Jawaharlal Nehru with Rajaji (left)… recognising his selfless spirit.   A panchama was convicted by the sub-magistrate of Tirupati because in a fit of devotion and exultation of mind he went inside along with other pilgrims into the famous temple at Tiruchanoor. I read a report of the judgment in the papers with indignation. Later on I was requested to help in the appeal filed by the man and I readily agreed. I went and the gentleman an MLC and Vakil in charge of the case asked me if I would argue the case. I said if I could speak in court as a private gentleman specially requested by the appellant — which procedure is open to every accused person in a criminal case — I would gladly do it but I could not appear as a vakil filing a vakalat. The court agreed to this course and I fired away. Of course the event is a shock to the Non-Cooperator’s conscience. But every rule is observed best by breaking the letter of it when the occasion arises in a supremely compelling way. The case of a perfectly devoted and earnest pariah rushing into the temple to see his God and offer worship and the police catching him and prosecuting him took me out of the mechanical groove of doctrine. He was not a satyagrahi, he was not a reformer, nor a hero. But he was a panchama who came year after year to the temple for the last ten years and was content to break his coconut from outside the gate. This year somehow he felt he was also worthy to go nearer. I suppose the pulse of agitation had unconsciously touched his soul and when a crowd of pilgrims came shouting Govinda! Govinda! The Tirupati pilgrims’ war cry, he forgot himself and the law imposed on his unfortunate class. And he went in. Surely, I can’t stand aside resting on the creed of Boycott of Courts and see this man convicted for “insulting religion”! I fear the event might be misunderstood and purposely hooked on by designers and enemies. However I have done it and I have obtained an acquittal too of the man. I felt a bit queer when standing and addressing without turban or coat and with only my khadi chaddar over my head and shoulders as at home and was prepared to be objected to and to retire. But the magistrate was all courtesy and felt keenly interested. So I went on as if I had never stopped practice these seven years.   Anna When the Mahatma learnt of the episode his reaction was as quick as it was clear: “(Rajaji) would have been like a Pharisee if he had sat there still, gloating over the sanctimonious satisfaction of non-cooperating, while the accused could have been discharged by his intervention”. Kurai Onrum Illai telescopes the identities of the panchama and the Sri Vaishnava. If Rajaji had an intellectual difficulty in capturing the metaphysical totality of the Lord and His Consort at Tiruchanoor, he was in the company of a man who had difficulty in accessing the physicality of the deities. For both, the Divinities were behind a tirai — imagined but unseen. And both were without regrets at what they had done. One at having ventured into a temple the grooves of law had forbidden him from, the other at having ventured into the court the grooves of protest had forbidden him from. Both had broken the letter of the law in a moment that had appeared to them in a supremely compelling way. I have attempted a translation of Kurai Onrum Illai with the help of Kalki’s grand-daughter Gowri Ramnarayan, knowing full well that this or any other English version can never convey the transporting force of the original. I know that this rendering would seem disastrously inadequate to those who savour Kurai Onrum Illai. But I trust they will see the non-literary, psycho-historical and cultural context of the piece. I invite their attention, particularly, to the use of the word kal by Rajaji in the song, translated as “rock”. I also invite attention to Gandhiji’s use of the word “rock” in his message to Rajaji on the death of Varadachari. Gandhiji certainly knew the man he was writing to. As Rajaji lay dying in General Hospital, Madras, in December 1972, all his regrets must have crossed his mind, all his sorrows. But also, all his reconciliations of those emotions with his faith in the “rock”. The last words spoken by him from his death bed, when asked how he felt were simple: “I am happy”. No one knows what the last words spoken by his Tiruchanoor client were. But if, wherever he died, the devotee had recalled the pulse of emotion he felt on the mountain doorstep, he too might well have closed his innings with the words “I am happy.”     Rajaji’s father, Chakravarti Iyengar.   Kurai Onrum Illai is a metaphysical composition which lends itself to more than one interpretation. But it is above all the encapsulation of a Vaishnavite’s dualistic faith in a God and Goddess “yon high” who are seen but partially through the twin lenses of knowledge and devotion by the devotee. Rajaji, with surpassing humility, holds his apprehension of Reality as limited by his own mental confines, but he accepts what he is given and does not claim more. His “co-author” is limited by physical confines and with equally surpassing humility regards his partial imagining as wholly adequate and claims no more. But both are swept on by the “pulse of emotion” to a territory they retreive from beyond the edges of temporal and celestial possibilties. It has been given to Subbulakshmi to trigger the same pulsation, through her spire of musical intelligence, among us, her listeners. Who can match her credentials for doing so? So, along with MS and Kadayanallur Venkataraman (who has set the composition to music in a triangulated compound of Sivaranjani, Kapi and Sindhu Bhairavi), Rajaji’s piece has a fourth, and perhaps most important, collaborator in the nameless devotee of the rock-incarnation of Govinda. There are those who, today, reading Rajaji’s 1925 letter will turn up their noses at his use of the words pariah and panchama. May I urge them to hear MS sing the song next time with that devotee in mind, calling him whatever politically correct name they might choose. They will find new meaning to it then and also discover a new facet in the “brain” behind the right-wing constellation of the Mahatma. Kurai Onrum Illai (No Regrets Have I) A rendering of the Tamil composition of C. Rajagopalachari No regrets have I My lord, None. Lord of the Written Word, My light, my sight, My very eyes No regrets, None. Though you stand Where I behold you not My light, my very eyes, Protector of all earthlings I know you sustain me Lord of the Venkata Hill so pure You meet my hunger, my thirst My hope, my prayer You keep me from harm, Lord of the Sparkling Gems, I need naught else Father of the Seven Hills, Naught else.   * * * You stand — do you not? — Veiled by a screen Only the learned can part For they are the learned Which I am not But no, no regrets have I. Crowning this hill You stand as rock Giver of Boons Immutable God Father to these hills No regrets have I Govinda !   * * * In this benighted Age of ours Lord — The worst of all the Four — You have entered The sanctum A shaft of granite Where though I see you not No regrets have I. Boulder of strength With the Ocean, Heaving on your breast, Of the purest compassion — My Mother, My very own, who grants Anything I ask of her Can I possibly have regrets? The two of you, I know, Stand there for me Eternally No regrets have I my Govinda None, none whatsoever Govinda! Govinda! Govinda! Govinda!         © Copyright 2000 – 2008 The Hindu

Philosophy Group, May 3rd

Today Dr.Anuradha Shah Veeravalli of the Dept. of Philosophy, University of Delhi will spoke to our Philosophy group about Ramuji’s philosophy of Advaita in a talk she titled, “Ramlila: The Metaphysics of the Everyday.” What follows are my notes…

He spoke about the metaphysical in the everyday (I am Thou, Cricket example)

Consistently applying advaitic vision…recognizing the Self in the other. Engagement with oneness and unity

Self, Self-consciousness

Many centeredness of the Self and illusion of the other

Nondualism,…unity of the Self, many centeredness, concepts of lila and communication

Dualism is rampant in the university and the same time it is a worthy opponent but definitely not kind to nonduality

IIC was the narasimha…neither in or out

Both ashram and the university were not satisfying to RG

Many centeredness of the many…negotiating the Lila of every day

Pg. 233 of I am Thou

2 cannot play…Siva is the destroyer of duality

gurwind singh, hyderbad “metaphysical foundations of education”

the advaitin engaged with name and form

breathlessness of the university…cholsterphobic…dualistic

not taking a stand irritated RG

invocation – vocation and bakti
allows us to participate in cosmic creation

jnani…samjna…consciousness

there cannot be knowledge that we are not self conscious. All vocation is dhyana…meaning of work is worship

karma and bakti…partaking in the whole

I am Thou, jivatma desire to be jnani

Expresses lila with the metaphysics of every day life

Sambodhana…addressing

Negative theology, closer to unnamed…what is god

All of attributes and not having any attributes that is the Self

Consciousness of something other than it Self…consciousness is NOT the mind

Witness emptiness and nothingness…advaita is all about purna not sunya and sunya was RG’s negotiation with Buddhism

Turiya which is you

Apparent self and apparent other

Father Mother Son Turiya—4 not 3 for RG

Ability to be self conscious of the self and the other

Many centeredness of the self and illusion of otherness and witnessing lila is a complete every day sadhana

Every moment recognizing reality and non reality

He stayed away from the word illusion

The idea of OM really emerged in the last five years

Importance of the Mandukya

Addressing one by name calls one to Self Awareness

Om sound transcends…mmm is the sound of someone being gagged not being allowed to breathe so he recognizes the darkness too

Advaita recognizes the problem of dualism

Structure and institution, unwilling presence in a classroom

RG’s work as offering

Later works respond to creative energy not critical inquiry

Philosophers find metaphysics difficult to come to terms with

Performance of Svaraj

His life was about that lila…lila with vidyapeeth

Open to general public, engage with ordinary people..telling stories to slum children

Deeply interested in the consciousness of everyone here

Philosophy Group, April 26th

Today our Philosophy group was lucky enough to have Professor Makarand Paranjape come to our discussion and present the second portion of his paper on the late Professor Ramchandra Gandhi. What follows are my notes from the discussion which may only be discernable to me…

Civilization→ cosmic mythology and theology

Self confidence combined with Self Consciousness is the Truth of India

Political importance of “I am Thou”

Civilizational importance of modern India

Custodian of these values

Ramuji’s belief in Hindi…non Hindi speakers can adopt it. His mother spoke Tamil, Father spoke Gujurati but he was a Hindi speaker. This language could be the glue of India…if you marry someone from a different part you can choose to speak English or Hindi but Hindi was what he believed in…

Sanatana Dharma is different from institutional Hinduism

No monopoly over Truth and tradition…Hinayana and Mahayana for every tradition (discussion of Marxism)

There are different images of the Self and one is not more valid or true

Sanatana – that which is perennial

Makarand wrote a paper on Sanatani, co-Sanatani (Buddhism, Jainism, Sikhism) non-sanatani (nihilism)

I am Thou as an image of yourself…

Modern life is absent of dharma and moksha and the world is entrenched in kama and artha

I am Thou is an artifact…there are awards for boook production in the United States

Sita’s Kitchen is an anti-nihilist argument. Sita is born from the Earth and this is very important…Earth Goddess, eco-feminism, aboriginality in advaita

Ananaya is non-other, no other

Compassion and nonviolence is the only was to save ourselves from self destruction

Reincarnation believers in the world unite because having the belief they will come back they are custodians of the earth, protects it…

Here and now hedonism and nihilist idea that life is purposeless and meaningless, we must fight against that

SK is a symbol of ecological wisdom, after partition more books have been written about the babri masjid more than anything else

Muniya’s Light
Muniya is ananya, the truth of advaita…

Believing “I am only this body” or “I am not this body at all” are a gross misunderstanding of who we are. We are not identical with our bodies but our bodies are deeply involved with us as trustees of the light of self awareness. Our bodies are custodians of the limitless by the limited.

Secularist and religious intolerance…Ramuji responding too a post 9/11 threat and his book is obviously autobiographical in nature

The truth of nondualism pushes us to translate advaitic belief into action…takes a position against feticide

Girl child represents the truth of India

I am Atman, beyond gender but Ramuji does the opposite by saying girl-child truest form of Atman

Finding ourselves and truth in giving and sharing

Many selves but no other

Sambodhana vhibakti, conversation presents war

Flowing sindhutva…closed Hindutva

We must save India from nihilist, numericalist (quantifying human worth), anthropocentric (human centric)

True test of love in nonpossession→ nonviolence…usually love is consummation

Creative artist has to lose herself in what she creates

Never ending journey is sanatana

Always betrothed to the divine but world cannot accept this illicit love as was the gopis

Tyeb Mehta shows the agony of our times…two outer panels are dualism and the inner is advaita

Art is therapeutic

Svaraj according to Makarand is a parallel text…what a lucky painting!

Ganesh on a mouse…surrealism is magic

Departure from harmony reinforces harmony, absence of advaita cannot exist for advaitin, advaita is not the property of human beings

The holocaust is deeply distorted and deeply camouflaged advaita

Apparent otherness demands us to seek deeper into the truth of Atman

Ramuji could see so much symbolism in everything

Makarand believes that Ramuji had a way of imposing an authoritative advaita on everything…totality, no otherness (only Ramana)…RG’s critical analysis is violent imposing of advaita, the other has to be given space…his method is too totalizing

RG only reflected on things worthy of his attention. He chooses Shantiniketan Triptych because as a heroic Vedantic it presents a much more difficult challenge than MF Hussain, it is a worth opponent…he tries to find advaita in the most difficult opponents

As Tyeb Mehta dies of cancer his wife is reading him “I am Thou”

Struggle is beautiful, don’t minimize the struggle

By the end of his life he did achieve a transcendence and was beyond the craving and aversion…colored by nondualism

The majority of RG’s life was a struggle.

Humanize, don’t deify! If you deify than we have no chance to become that…puts a cap on our inner growth

Ramana Maharshi rejected a girl that wanted to marry him in a harsh way and she burned herself to death

The journey is about our selves ignoring his faults won’t help us

Go and speak and see where the spirit takes you…believer in the oral tradition

Vedantic Buddhism, nonanthropocentric shunyata

Philosophy Group – April 19th

Today our Philosophy Group met at Arpana’s Art Gallery in the Siri Fort Institutional Area. Professor Makarand Paranjape of JNU (http://www.makarand.com/) was gracious enough to present a paper he wrote about my dear mentor Ramuji. What follows are some of my notes from the discussion that ensued during the reading of his paper.

Arunachala is the holy hill representing nonseparation of ourselves from the absolute

Philosophy is a part of life not a discipline

Fitting in wasn’t about him (Ramuji)

Advaita = heterodoxy

To address them and be addressed by them is what it means to be a person…conscious of sharing a personal form of life with others

We are communicative beings…in the act we are one

Advaita is communication…dvaita you think there are two but the communication makes us one

Being human means to communicate

Secularized advaita, socially engaged

He put the material world into advaite

Brahmacarya was the way of the vast, not celibacy, more love, the vastness of brahmacarya

Advaita must be lived!

When you realize there is no ther then you have abhaya…when you know “I am thou” then you won’t fight

Gandhi…Aurobindo…Ramana Maharshi…

Life really is amazing and the universe most certainly does work in the most mysterious way. A former student sent me a speech one of her Professors gave and it introduced me to the ideas found in “Confucian Humanism” further supporting my allegiance to “I am/and Thou.” What follows in the relevant text from the speech:

“But the status quo in the United States is clearly unjust, and to the extent the status quo is defended by appeals to individualism, to just that extent do we need a broader view of what it is to be a human being.

One candidate for such a view, suitably modified for the contemporary world, is that of the classical Confucians, whose texts provide significant conceptual resources for forging new pathways to social justice and the alleviation of poverty. Here now is the other side of the mirror.

The texts gathered under the heading of “classical Confucianism” are by no means in full agreement on all points, and there are several tensions within each text itself; and many passages in those texts have an ambiguity about them that makes reading them an act of creation. They nevertheless present an overall coherent view of the good life for human beings, and the good society in which those lives may be led. This life is an altogether social one, and central to understanding it is to see that Confucian sociality has aesthetic, moral, and spiritual no less than political and economic dimensions, all of which are to be integrated.

None of the early texts address the question of the meaning of life, but they do put forward a vision of being human, and a discipline in which everyone can find meaning in life. This meaning will become increasingly apparent to us as we pursue our ultimate goal, namely, developing ourselves most fully as human beings to become junzi, “exemplary persons,” or, at the pinnacle of development, sheng, or sages. And for Confucians we can only do this through our interactions with other human beings. Treading this human path (ren dao) must be ultimately understood basically as a religious quest, even though the canon speaks not of God, nor of creation, salvation, an immortal soul, or a transcendental realm of being; and no prophecies will be found in its pages either. It is nevertheless a truly religious path, yet at the same time a humanistically oriented one; for Confucius, we are irreducibly social, as he makes clear in the Analects: “I cannot run with the birds and beasts. Am I not one among the people of their world? If not them, with whom can I associate?” (18:6)

Thus the Confucian self is not a free, autonomous individual, but is to be seen relationally: I am a son, husband, father, grandfather, teacher, student, friend, colleague, neighbor, and more. I live, rather than “play” these roles, and when all of them have been specified, and their interrelationships made manifest, then I have been fairly thoroughly individuated, but with nothing left over with which to piece together an autonomous individual self, free to conclude mutually advantageous contracts with other rational individuals. Rather, to put the case strongly, I am constituted by the roles I live in consonance with others. The free, autonomous, individual self is not a fact, but an ideological fiction underpinning the ethos of a capitalist economic system.

While this view may seem initially strange, it is actually straightforward: in order to be a friend, neighbor, or lover, for example, I must have a friend, neighbor, or lover. Other persons are not merely accidental or incidental to my goal of fully developing as a human being, they are essential to it; indeed they confer unique personhood on me, for to the extent that I define myself as a teacher, students are necessary to my life, not incidental to it. Note in this regard also, that, again, while Confucianism should be seen as fundamentally religious, there are no solitary monks or nuns, anchorites or anchoresses, or hermits to be found in the tradition.

Our first and most basic role, one that significantly defines us in part throughout our lives, is as children; familial reverence (xiao) is one of the highest excellences in Confucianism. From our beginning roles as children – and as siblings, playmates, and pupils – we mature to become parents ourselves, and assume many other roles and responsibilities as well, all of which are reciprocal relationships, best generalized as holding between benefactors and beneficiaries. Each of us moves regularly from benefactor to beneficiary and back again, depending on the other(s) with whom we are interacting, when, and under what conditions. When young, I was largely beneficiary of my parents; when they were aged and infirm, I became their benefactor, and the converse holds for my children. I am benefactor to my friend when she needs my help, beneficiary when I need hers. I am a student of my teachers, teacher of my students, colleague of my colleagues. Taken together, the manifold roles we live define us as persons. And the ways in which we meet the obligations attendant on these relational roles, and the ways others meet similar obligations toward us, are both the ways whereby we achieve dignity, satisfaction, and meaning in life. Although there is no word for “freedom” in the classical language in which the Confucian texts were written, I believe the Master would say that it is not a stative, but an achievement term. We cannot be born free, for we are bound inexorably to others from the moment we leave the womb, and we are surely not “free” even as adults if we only do our moral duty because we feel consciously obligated to do so; it is only when we truly enjoy helping others as benefactors, and being helped by them in return as beneficiaries, that we could meaningfully be said to be free.

With such an emphasis on familial reverence it should be clear that at the heart of Confucian society is indeed the family, the locus of where, how, and why we develop into full human beings. A central government is also important to the good society, because there are necessary ingredients of human flourishing – especially economic – which the family (and local community) cannot secure on their own. The early Confucians saw the state not as in any way in opposition to the family, but rather saw both as complementary; stated in contemporary democratic terms, if we wish to live in a state that insists I meet my fatherly responsibilities, it should insure that I have the wherewithal – i.e., an education, job, good health, etc. – to do so. Similarly, this state must assume responsibility for the well-being of those who have no family networks for support. Confucius, Mencius and Xunzi all insisted that it was the responsibility of the state to provide functional equivalents of universal health insurance, Medicare, Medicaid, workman’s compensation, food stamps and social security – plus employment, and insisted as well on a meritocracy rather than wealth or bloodline in recruiting for officialdom; and they began doing this 500 years before the time of Christ. Mencius and Xunzi also had the keen insight to insist that the government had an obligation to provide jobs for the poor. The problem with most welfare programs is that they consist mainly of handouts, and no person with any degree of self-respect would want to be only a beneficiary; dignity, pleasure and happiness can only come when we have the wherewithal to be benefactors as well.

The ideal Confucian society is thus basically communally oriented, with customs, tradition, rituals, ceremonies and manners serving as the binding force of and between our many relationships to one another. Above all, it is not a laissez-faire capitalist society. “Exemplary persons never compete” said Confucius.(3.7) In another place he said that the major work of exemplary persons was to help the poor, not make the rich richer. (6.4) Mencius said that if you want to be wealthy you cannot become an exemplary person, and if you want to be an exemplary person you cannot be wealthy.(3A3)

This, then, in woefully brief compass, is Confucian humanism in action: interacting with others as benefactors and beneficiaries in an intergenerational context. Confucius himself was absolutely clear on this point, for when a disciple asked him what he would most like to do, he said:

I would like to bring peace and contentment to the aged, share relationships of trust and confidence with friends, and love and protect the young (5:26)

Much more, of course, needs to be said about the early Confucian view of what it is to be a human being, but I believe much more can be said with respect to the contemporary world. The concept of the family can be retained, for example, while making women equals to men, and it can be enhanced by allowing two (or more) nurturers of the same sex to be responsible for child-rearing and care of the elderly – both with state help. Neither sexism nor homophobia are logical implications of Confucian familial communitarianism and its larger philosophical and religious dimensions.

Returning now more directly to poverty alleviation again, It is clear that such role-bearing persons will take second generation social, economic and cultural rights very seriously, while necessarily remaining sensitive to the civil and political. If you and I can only flourish as we help each other realize our full humanity as benefactors and beneficiaries, why would I want to silence you, not let you choose your other friends, or follow whichever faith tradition inspires you? That is to say, with role-bearing persons as our philosophical foundation, moving from second to first generation rights is conceptually and attitudinally straightforward.

But the converse does not hold. It requires a major cognitive (and affective) shift to move from respecting civil and political rights passively to actively helping others obtain the benefits attendant on respecting social, economic and cultural rights and committing the country to the elimination of poverty. The history of the U.S. provides little grounds for expecting the shifts to take place: It is now 216 years since civil and political rights became the law of the land, yet we have all those nauseating figures I narrated at the beginning of my talk, and they are worsening even as we are discussing them here.

It is time to conclude these remarks, and I want to do so by offering some reasons to believe the struggle for a better future than our present is possible, and worth the effort. And I want to do that by simultaneously replying to an objection to my analyses of why poverty continues to grow both at home and abroad.

“Look here,” someone might reasonably object, “It is all well and good that you have been beating up on the rich and the super rich, the politicians, pundits, corporations and the media while lamenting the gross inequalities that define the country today, but they are only a relatively small part of the problem. It is the overweight, TV-addicted, consumptive anti-intellectual average American that is largely responsible for the country’s plight. Americans don’t study the issues, tend to be self-centered, and indeed often celebrate the rugged individualism you have been challenging. Don’t you know anything about the pro-life movement? Have you never heard of the National Rifle Association?”

This objection is not without force. We all know someone pretty much like what was just described. While this view of the American public is unfortunately fairly widespread, there is one major problem with it: the evidence strongly suggests that it is false. Let me return to some statistics, this time from non-partisan polls.

First, when asked if it is the responsibility of government to care for those who can’t take care of themselves, 57% answered affirmatively in 1994 – the year Newt Gingrich and the conservative Republicans gained control of the House. In 2006, 69% of Americans answered the question affirmatively, according to the Pew Research Center, after completing a 20-year roundup of public opinion. Exactly the same percentage of Americans – 69% — believes that the government should guarantee every citizen enough to eat and a place to sleep – even if it can only be done by raising their taxes. 75% of small business owners believe the minimum wage should be raised by at least another $2 per hour.

For every citizen who wants the government to reduce services in order to reduce spending, two citizens want more services even if it means increases in spending.

In another recent poll taken by the Wall Street Journal — certainly not a socialist-leaning part of the media – 53% of those polled said the Bush tax cuts were “not worth it because they have increased the deficit and caused cuts in government programs.” There is much more, some of it surprising to some. CNN reported that in their latest poll, only 25% of the people polled wanted to see Roe v. Wade overturned. 67% would prefer diplomatic and economic efforts over military efforts in fighting terrorism. A Zogby poll found 89% of the population much preferred rehabilitation over incarceration for youthful offenders. Immigration?

62% told a CBS/NYTimes poll that undocumented workers should be allowed to keep their jobs and eventually apply for legal status. And oh, yes, the NRA: another Wall Street Journal study found 10% of the American public wanted gun controls to be less strict; 58% wanted much stronger controls.

These figures are, to my mind, of great significance, yet they receive no coverage in the news. They show a decent American people who can keep their decency even when they think they’re almost alone, and when the are bombarded instead with such trivia as Barack Obama’s middle name, Hilary Clinton’s cleavage, and the cost of a John Edwards haircut – none of which is of any significance to their lives, or ours.

I trust these figures, because the responses are just what I personally find when I leave a college or university campus to lecture at churches and union halls. The American peoples no less than college students have always been a source of hope for me, and I hope they may be the same for you.

These, then, are the ways my Chinese mirror has reflected the ways in which I reflect on my own culture, my own country.

Thoughts on Faith, Buddhism and Thiruvannamalai

Thoughts on Faith, Buddhism and Thiruvannamalai

What follows are some thoughts on a talk I attended last night on Faith from a Buddhist perspective and my weekend in Thiruvannamalai…

The day after I had returned from my yatra to Thiruvannamalai I had the wonderful opportunity to hear Sharon Salzberg speak about “Faith” at the India International Center. Sharon is a very well known Buddhist teacher in the United States and she is in Delhi this week to attend the Sunyata training given by His Holiness the Dalai Lama. If you are interested in questions surrounding faith from a Buddhist perspective (and her book is like her talk) her book “Faith, Trusting Your Own Deepest Experience” would be a great read. She also mentioned a Stephen Batchelor book, “The Faith to Doubt: Glimpses of Buddhist Uncertainty” which seems like an interesting read as well. Hopefully I can track down both books in India and if not I will just have to ask the next visitor from the States to bring them for me

This past weekend in Thiruvannamalai I thought a lot about “faith” and it seemed only fitting that I would arrive back in Delhi only to attend this particular talk. I completed a parikrama/pradakshina (circling a worshipped or revered place) during the full moon around the sacred Arunachala mountain with thousands of other pilgrims. What drew thousands of pilgrims to this particular place? Why have I not had a strong desire to visit Thirupathi and many other “holy sites” in India?

I came to Buddhism and Nondual philosophy because I didn’t believe in blind faith and never really connected with the Hindu rituals and practices I grew up with and strongly identified with Humanism. But both the Buddha and Sri Ramana Maharshi provided me with the tools I need to question, inquire and discover “abiding faith” so I now appreciate, understand and even love the rituals though it still is not my preferred form of practice.

Amidst all of the chaos in my dear mentor’s (Ramu Mama) life his faith was unshakable and I firmly believe this is because he was a firm believer in the method of Self-Inquiry and employed the correct style of questioning needed for what Sharon Salzberg calls, “verified faith.” Ramana Maharshi provides an excellent form of questioning in his teaching “Who Am I” which I have attached to this email. I read this again for the hundredth time when I was in Thiruvanammali but this time as I was meditating in the caves I finally (gosh, it took me long enough!) realized just how brilliant his method is. If you have the time and are interested do download the attachment of “Who Am I” that I have sent with this email and take your time going through it. Ramana Maharshi much like the Buddha didn’t want others to just believe what he said. He wanted them to practice and discover it all for themselves. Faith isn’t something you have or you don’t. Rather, real faith is something you come to through self-inquiry, wisdom and questioning.

In Sharon Salzberg’s discussion of faith she talked a lot about “bright faith.” Bright faith is something I think we have all experienced (even for a moment). From what I understood it involves having faith in the awakening of oneself and the capacity of the human heart and mind. Bright faith occurs in those moments where we discover the breathtaking view of human possibility and of not being stuck. It is a sense of boldness and daring to imagine you can live in a different way. She felt that “bright faith” is what we experience when we first fall in love and it can be intoxicating. Sharon told a great story about a letter Bruce Springsteen had written when Bob Dylan was first inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Springsteen recalled the first time he heard Dylan’s music. He was a young boy in the car with his mom listening to the radio and it was as if “a giant boot had come down and kicked open the door of his mind.” I think we have all had moments like this but how do you transform “bright faith” into “verified faith” and not fall into fear, doubt or “blind faith.” How can you be fearless and have certainty?

I think all you can really do is practice just like the Buddha and Ramana Maharshi and slowly but surely that unshakable faith will come and then you can understand the nature of possibilities and take risk with ease.

Sharon Salzberg mentioned how important it is to use the investigative power to deepen our faith and my mentor Ramu Mama said the same thing. He thought that his spiritual hero Ramana Maharshi was the reincarnation of a great Greek philosopher! She also said something along the lines of “abiding faith is not a dogmatic holding of a belief. You investigate so deeply that you embody the belief.” Essentially, you become a deep embodiment of lived values that have been investigated and explored and this is what made Ramana Maharshi, the Buddha and my mentor Ramu Mama so very special.

As you climb to the caves where Ramana Maharshi lived for some years there is a spot on a cliff (on the way to Skandashram) where you have the most breathtaking view of Thiruvannamalai and the Arunachala Temple. This being my second trip to Thiruvannamalai I only spent time in the places that I find most special to me which are this particular spot on the mountain and the caves. According to the legends Shiva appeared on the Holy Hill as a column of light in order to settle a dispute between Brahma and Vishnu and it serves as one of the five most holy sites for Lord Shiva in all of South India. As I was leaving the Sri Ramana Maharshi Ashram a dear friend I came with told me that she found out that my teacher, Ramu Mama’s ashes were sprinkled all over the mountain and this reaffirmed my pledge to visit the mountain every year while I am in India to pay my respects.

At the end of Sharon Salzberg’s talk I asked her to speak to nonduality and bhakti since she runs retreats with Krishna Das (a favorite musician of mine that I always try to see when he is in my area). I found it very interesting that a teacher of Buddhist meditation would run retreats with a kirtan master like Krishna Das but she said, “Remember that distinctions are not divisive and there are many ways of opening the heart.”

On the ride to Thiruvannamalai from Chennai my dear friends and I engaged in a fascinating discussion about Fate and Free Will and of course when I arrived in my room at the Ashram the following quote was on my door:

“The debate “Does Free Will prevail or Fate, is only for those who do not know the root of both. Those who have known the Self, the common source of Free Will and of Fate, have passed beyond them and will not return to them. “ – Ulladu Narpadu – 19

I also managed to briefly visit Auroville (an incredibly unique experiment in human unity close to Pondicherry), Aurobindo’s Ashram and the Theosophical Society (in an area of Chennai called Adyar) where many brilliant minds have spent extended periods of time. I definitely need to return and spend more time in these places. Myself and a colleague are trying to organize a trip with students in October to work on an Organic Farm in Dehradun but the folks at Navdanya have been bad with communication so now we may take students to Auroville for a week instead.

Yesterday I took students to a phenomenal Raghu Rai exhibit at the National Gallery of Modern Art “The Journey of a Moment in Time”. Seeing his work is like having a “giant boot” continuously “come down and kick open the door to my mind.” If you ever get a chance to look at his work please do. For Rai “the camera is an instrument of learning. When you look through it, you start achieving a kind of concentration. In these concentrated moments you can penetrate and discover the unseen—the unknown. It’s a learning of the self and the world.”

Lots of fabulous things are always happening in Delhi! The Tagore festival begins tomorrow and Thich Nhat Hanh is coming at the end of September for month. I am on the organizing committee to help coordinate Thay’s visit and will send out details as soon as I get them. The Yogathon I am directing for children’s education with the Foundation for Universal Responsibility of His Holiness the Dalai Lama is now one aspect of a huge Peace Day Event in honor of UN Peace Day on September 21st. Much to be done but it is all exciting! Thankfully my traveling finally eases up for a bit when I go on a much needed retreat next week,

Sending you lots of love, warm wishes and eternal blessings!

In Faith

Meena

Notes from Sharon Salzberg’s talk on Faith at the IIC, March 26th 2008

Bring bodies into balance, compassion and kindness

Meditation helps us remain connected, aware and energized

There is the “bright faith” of knowing oneself and confidence in awakening, faith in the practice

Two things drew her to Buddhism: The Buddha’s unafraid, acknowledgement of suffering and the Buddha’s invitation to do something about it…the capacity of the human heart and mind and that there are tools (inkling of faith)

The Buddha said don’t believe anything I say. Put it into practice and discover it for yourself. This is a breathtaking view of human possibility. The sense of not being stucks. Meditation can be a pragmatic, personal transformation.

Steven Bachelor – The faith to doubt

Faith is not something you have or don’t have. Self respect, wisdom and questioning

You begin with faith

Sense of boldness, dare to imagine that we can live in a different way

The process of faith

Bright faith – yes! Things can be different! It is like falling in love.

Bruce Springsteen on Bob Dylan – as if a giant boot came down and kicked open the door of my mind

Enter the dimension of seeing the possibilities. This is intoxicating and you are not asking the question

You don’t want to be separate from the door of possibility

Close down and become afraid could turn bright faith into blind faith which is the smaller world

To protect yourself from falling into blind faith and transform it into verified faith you need to put it into practice

Understand the nature of possibilities and take risk

Verified faith involves skillful, correct questioning

Use the investigative power to deepen our faith

Abiding faith is not a dogmatic holding of a belief…you investigate so deeply that you embody the belief…what you see to be true…we simply are

Giving the Dalai Lama the nobel peace prize is like giving Mother Nature an art award. His Holiness is not self conscious or righteous but this did not just happen, he practices!

We wake up in the morning and start writing the story of me…Krishna Das

Deep embodiment of lived values that have been investigated and explored.

Metta, maitri and the capacity of the human heart to connect and care.

Robert Thurman…our lives are interdependent so be there for each other

The quality of faith to suspend disbelief, extended, nourished and enhanced.

Adventure of loving kindness, open beyond the bad and don’t focus on that

Faith is not being stuck or limited

Bakti and nonduality – distinctions are not divisive…the path and the fruit of the path

Taking refuge in the Buddha there is transparency not the other, not the separate, acknowledging something within us…seed for infinite care and compassion…great enlarged view.

Buddha taught a way of life, not Buddhism…the transformative power of every day experiences, compassion and balance.

What arises is less important to how you relate to the experience. Do you grasp?

Reframing our sense of happiness and suffering…the importance of mindfulness

It is about appreciating the possibility of being mindful

Feeling a glass may sound crazy but you are connected and grounded for that moment

Everybody hears something different.

On Kirtan and meditating…Faith is an exploration…make an offering…Holistic picture of possibilities opening the heart in different ways

Not blind faith but faith in the goodness of humans

Off to Thiru…

Tomorrow I leave for my yearly yatra to Thiruvanammalai, a pilgrimage town in South India. The great sage Ramana Maharshi spent most of his life there and for me this is the most special place in the world. The town is also home to one of the five elemental temples representing fire. Oddly enough as I was coming home today the following songs were playing and the lyrics made me think of all of my beloved teachers–past, present, and future. Thank you for inspiring me to keep fighting for saccai ki ag (Thanks Shankar) –fire of Truth.

Om Gum Gurubhyo Namah.

“Answer” by Sarah McLachlan

I will be the answer
At the end of the line
I will be there for you
While you take the time
In the burning of uncertainty
I will be your solid ground
I will hold the balance
If you can’t look down

If it takes my whole life
I won’t break, I won’t bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all gone out
You’ll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind
Take me to a
Place so holy
That I can wash this from my mind
The memory of choosing not to fight

Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind

“Push” by Sarah McLachlan

Every time I look at you the world just melts away
All my troubles all my fears dissolve in your affections
You’ve seen me at my weakest but you take me as I am
And when I fall you offer me a softer place to land

You stay the course you hold the line you keep it all together
You’re the one true thing I know I can believe in
You’re all the things that I desire, you save me, you complete me
You’re the one true thing I know I can believe

I get mad so easy but you give me room to breathe
No matter what I say or do ’cause you’re to good to fight about it
Even when I have to push just to see how far you’ll go
You wont stoop down to battle but you never turn to go

Your love is just the antidote when nothing else will cure me
There are times I cant decide when I cant tell up from down
You make me feel less crazy when otherwise I’d drown
But you pick me up and brush me off and tell me I’m OK
Sometimes thats just what we need to get us through the day

I am Thou or I and Thou

Here is a paper written by Professor Biswas that I found especially interesting.I am Thou or I and Thou

Reflections on the late Professor Ramchandra Gandhi (Ramu Mama) and Shantiniketan (Abode of Peace)

What follows are some of my reflections from the “National Workshop on Ramchandra Gandhi: Faith and Enquiry” held this past weekend in West Bengal to honor the late Professor Ramchandra Gandhi for his invaluable contributions. Since I was the only member of our Delhi Philosophy Circle to attend the first portion of the conference (Professor Shail Mayaram arrived Sunday morning and I had to leave on Sunday right before lunch to make it back to Delhi for work on Monday) I wanted to send my thoughts on the Seminar and my experiences from Shantiniketan to the group and some of my friends and family members that are also philosophically and spiritually inclined. Let me warn you that this is personal, lengthy and filled with many references to Indian philosophy so some parts may not be entirely available to all of you but since I was in Geneva during Ramu Mama’s (I called the late Professor Ramchandra Gandhi “Ramu Mama,” Mama means Uncle for those of you that do not know) passing and missed all of the commemorations I feel that it is only my duty to share.

Philosophy Circle members, forgive me if my notes are lacking. While I’ve had some rigorous academic experiences I’m not an academic and I don’t claim to be one. In fact, I strongly believe that there are limitations to logical and analytical thinking and this will keep me from ever being successful in academia. I have always loved learning and came to the study of nondual thought close to six years ago as a way of trying to make sense of a spontaneous spiritual experience and my own desire to make real meaning out of life’s deeper questions. Following my heart is all I know how to do, all I’ve ever done and all that makes sense to me. My connection with Ramu Mama was one purely of the heart. That is how I knew him and how I’ve come to make sense of the papers and ideas presented at the conference.

The conference was organized by the Department of Philosophy and Religion, Visva-Bharati, Shantiniketan and was jointly funded by the Indian Council of Philosophical Research, Delhi the Indian Council for Social Science Research, Delhi and Visva-Bharati, Shantiniketan. In attendance were mostly scholars. I was one of the few conference attendees that did not have a PhD and was probably the only participant under the age of forty. Ramu Mama was undoubtedly one of the most brilliant, original thinkers India has ever produced. His ideas are so crucial for my generation; I could not believe that there were no other young people in attendance.

I knew Ramu Mama as a sadhika (spiritual seeker) and he taught me that it is possible to speak with your heart directly and this is the most important thing I’ve ever learned. A few weeks ago I began re-reading Jack Kornfield’s (Western Buddhist Teacher) book, “A Path With Heart.” This book was a departing gift given to me by the History Department at my last school. After having spent time with Ramu Mama this book now takes on much deeper meaning. Kornfield writes: “When we ask, ‘Am I following a path with heart?’ We discover that no one can define us exactly what our path should be. Instead, we must allow the mystery and beauty of this question to resonate within our being. Then, somewhere within us an answer will come and understanding will arise. If we are still and listen deeply, even for a moment, we will know if we are following a path with heart…A path with heart reflects what we most deeply value.” (p. 12) Ramu Mama walked a “path with heart.” He embodied the combination of simple living and high thinking by understanding that “to love fully and live well requires us to recognize that we do not possess or own anything.” (p.16)

To me, Ramu Mama was the perfect blend of scholar and practitioner. What was lacking for me in my Professors from college/graduate school and the various Buddhist and “Hindu” teachers I’ve studied with he possessed. He was an expert on nondual philosophy from an academic standpoint and had training from the world’s finest academic institutions but he also was a bhakta and this is what made him so very special to me and the most important kalayana mitra (spiritual friend) I’ve ever known. The way he would call out to Ramana Maharshi, “Appa! (Father)” and how he could place nondual thought in everything just amazed me—from politics to art to even the dating advice and bowling tips (during my short stint on the American Embassy Cricket Team) this very hip 69 year old would give me! I still remember having him translate a favorite old Hindi song of mine “Rasik Balma” with an advaitin twist his eyes twinkling with excitement as he listened to Latha Mangeshkar sing this song with so much emotion and devotion. His intense, genuine desire for Truth yet ability to engage in the world in such a real, human way made me feel as if I had finally met someone that really “got” me. I still remember how he would speak to me in Tamil and say, “Papa (endearing Tamil word for baby) I’m trying to awaken the dormant Tamil in you!” Or how excited we were when I found out that his grandfather, Rajaji had written my family song Kurai Ondrum Illai (the essence of the song is contentment) or when we discovered I was the same age as Muniya, the main character from his novel, “Muniya’s Light” and had also come to India via California to deepen my study and understanding of nondual philosophy. It was as if the universe had been planning all along for our meeting which happened in the first days of my move to Delhi. As we watched a documentary about Ramana Maharshi, “The Sage of Arunachala” on my lap top on the India International Center (IIC) lawn he cried out for his spiritual hero to help him deal with the servants that were trying to chase him out of his small Bengali market flat and help him overcome the insomnia that kept him from writing his piece on the Mandukya Upanisad (which has had a deeply profound influence on my life). The last time I saw him was 17 days before he passed away just a few days before I left for Geneva on a Sunday afternoon at the IIC shortly after I had moved to Golf Links just so I could be closer to the IIC to study with him. He gave me his copy of Arthur Osborne’s biography of Ramana Maharshi and told me that just as Ramana had his Meenakshi of Madurai his “Appa” had sent him his very own Meenakshi (me) to ease his depression and keep him inspired with my energy and enthusiasm for life. There is so much more I can write and I’m frustrated with my inability to articulate just how important he is to me. He was my world but as crazy as it sounds in his death I feel even closer to him. Now I don’t have to track him down at the IIC when I have a question about purna and shunya or an insight because he is always with me. He lives in me as he lives in many of you. When I visit Arunachala this Friday I know he will be walking with me as I make my yearly pradakshina (circumambulation) around the sacred mountain.

I couldn’t help but feel a disconnect at times this weekend during discussions over the semantics of Jiva, Atman, Brahman and Anatman. I thought to myself, “What is the use of debating this? You are trying to give a name to something you can only understand with experience so stop wasting time debating people! Meditate! Practice! Be mindful! Only then will you be able to understand nonduality. Life is short and one must practice!” Ramu Mama was an advaitin that understood the importance of dedicated practice and a lot of our discussions centered around this because without practice how can you understand the “surpra-intellectual” mind (Aurobindo)? I also felt that while we were sitting in our conference hall debating whether the “I” is sure that the “Thou” is being replicated people are out there suffering! If you really understand, believe and practice nondual thought then you feel the joy as well as the pain of others therefore compassion is a natural expression of your being and you must try and make the world a better place. Ramu Mama understood my desire to move beyond mere intellectual action and take real action to make change in the world and my desire to make sense of what seemed like spiritual dissonance to me.

The conference began with a moving inaugural address by Smt. Anjala Sen who of
course features in Ramu Mama’s book “Svaraj.” Mrs. Sen spoke from the heart and like many of us whose hearts have been captured by Ramu Mama her words brought me to tears. She expertly captured his multifarious character. She spoke of how he always believed in light in the midst of darkness and that love would always be victorious. He was one of the few who dedicated his life to answering the tough questions: “Who am I? Who are we? What is the Truth of India? Can the dualism of Self and Other be dissolved and resolved?” By asking these questions with utmost sincerity he touched so many lives.

The keynote address was delivered by Professor Makarand Paranjape of JNU and I have asked if he would deliver his paper at our Saturday meeting at Aparna’s Art Gallery on April 19th. His paper captured more of Ramu Mama’s intellectual endeavors and publications. He spoke of Ramu Mama’s wide ranging interests and how he could speak brilliantly and fluently in Tamil, Hindi and English (in an incredibly posh accent). He also touched upon Ramu Mama’s love for his Sapta (Seven) Rishis (Ancient Seers) of Modern India: Vivekananda, Aurobindo, Krishnamurti, Ramana Maharshi, Paramahansa Ramakrishna, Tagore and of course his grand father Mahatma Gandhi. He talked about the protest Ramu Mama had organized to keep the canopy across from India Gate that used to hold King George’s statue empty instead of placing a statue of his grandfather Mahatma Gandhi there because he felt that so much more was said with leaving it empty. “True sovereignty can only be of the Self, limitless self-awareness, emptiness and not-thingness,” he writes in “Svaraj.” He recounted the story of how Ramu Mama resigned from Hyderabad University because of the chopping down of a Neem tree which he protested and it reminded me of how he always stood by his principles. I still remember his refusal to use plastic bags if at all possible. He gifted me this large bag that I still use for my vegetables (he had an identical one too) that he got in Khan Market that says “Real Success.” When he gave it to me he said, “Just to always remind you of what ‘real success’ (engaging in questions of Truth, exercising compassion) is!” He spoke of how the truth of Ramu Mama is instantiated in his seminal work, “I am Thou – Meditations on the Truth of India.” He talked about Ramu Mama’s redefinition of Brahmacarya as well and his passage calling all those who believe in reincarnation to unite and his belief that Ramana Maharshi was the greatest mind slayer of all time. The most moving part of the keynote address for me was when Professor Makarand said that Shantiniketan is our real abode when we realize who we really are and that our whole world would be Shantiniketan if we practiced ahimsa.

Then Professor Godabarisha Mishra, President of the Indian Council for Philosophical Research spoke for a few minutes. He commented on how Ramu Mama crossed so many boundaries, was a synthesizer of cultures and disciplines (philosophy, religion, art, linguistics) and an international citizen. Ramu Mama was an international citizen and we talked a lot about this and how I think this whole Indian American thing is a false dichotomy. I have no issues with my identity because I don’t subscribe to exclusivist identities. Beyond “I am Thou” “I just am” and Ramu Mama completely understood that. I have no home because everywhere is “home” for me. Professor Misra also commented on how little Ramu Mama wrote and he said that Ramu Mama produced so little because he was a “thinker” and thinkers don’t have time to write. I met Professor Mishra again at the Kolkata airport and we talked more about Ramu Mama and just how special he was/is to so many. He told me about an upcoming conference in Jaipur and I said, “While Ramu Mama was a thinker (in fact he defined Philosophy as “thinking about thinking”) I am a do-er and attending another academic conference on Indian philosophy just does not seem like part of my svadharma right now.”

The first academic session was chaired by Professor Biswass and Professor Amitabha Das Gupta presented a paper entitled, “On the Primacy of Communication: Introducing R.C. Gandhi’s Presuppositions of Human Communication.” I haven’t actually read this book which I believe was his first publication and actually his 1974 Doctoral Dissertation from Oxford. From what Professor Das Gupta presented it seems like this work was really at the threshold of analysis and experience. Essentially he discussed Ramu Mama’s ideas on what it means to communicate successfully and how the “other” cannot be taken for granted. Apparently this is a very technical work and it was before he began to seriously delve into the study of nondual philosophy. It seemed to me like he was on the verge of what I thought was a very Buberian way of looking at communication but Professor Das Gupta told me that Ramu Mama had yet to read Martin Buber when he was crafting his dissertation. Then I remembered how Ramu Mama told me that he left Oxford with so many unanswered questions and he felt as if his Doctoral Dissertation was missing something and this is what led him to study Eastern Philosophy after dedicating so much of his life to studying its Western counterpart.

The first session was followed by a lunch at the Department of Philosophy and Religion and I got a chance to chat with some of the other conference participants that were not staying at my guest house which was right next to the Department Building. I was alarmed by how many people had actually never truly known Ramu Mama at the conference and I just felt so blessed to have been able to really get a chance to know him and spend so much time with him during the last months of his life. A few participants were very happy that I was at the seminar since I was the only young person and one of two Americans (the other being Tagore Scholar Dr. Kathleen O’Connell). I had a very interesting conversation with a woman from Mumbai that publishes a very cool magazine, “Gallerie” about how most NRI’s think India is all Bollywood and Bhangra and the non Indians are the ones that are preserving India’s jems. She thought it was quite amusing that my Sanskrit Professors at Berkeley (the principal translators of Valmiki’s Ramayana) are Jewish! A Gandhi Scholar from Chennai and I also chatted about how conservative Indian-Americans are and how the NRI’s are the ones funneling all of this money to the RSS and these right wing Hindu Fundamentalist groups—scary stuff! I still remember my involvement in the California Text Book Revision Process and how these “American Hindu” organizations hijacked the revision process and tried to advance a monotheistic, Vaishnavaite, “saffronized” version of Hinduism. I went with a delegation of Scholars from Berkeley to a hearing in Sacramento about the revisions and these “American Hindu” groups started calling us “communists” and “jihadi’s.” Ramu Mama and I talked a lot about the dangers of exclusivist identities in the NRI community and how this was totally opposed to the essence of Advaita Vedanta.

After lunch my dream came true. I honestly think that the one of the main reasons why I came to West Bengal was to hear Professor Gautam Biswas present his paper (which I have attached to this email) “ ‘I am Thou or I and Thou’ Convergence versus Disclosure: Ramchandra Gandhi’s Meditations on the Truth of India.” Some of you know that a few weeks after Ramu Mama’s death I finally read my dear friend Paul’s Masters Thesis on Re-Assessing Modern Capitalism. Paul draws upon Buberian philosophy to make his case for de-objectifying relationships. Since being introduced to Buber and returning to India from Geneva and obtaining Ramuji’s masterpiece “I am Thou” I have been trying to incorporate the “I am Thou” philosophy in my classroom and see it as my central educational philosophy and life philosophy. Capitalism, fundamentalism and everything I feel is unjust in the world can be transformed if everyone’s thinking evolves and we all practice and attempt to really, truly, live “I am Thou.” When I read Buber (if you haven’t read “I and Thou” yet, please do!)I didn’t find him to be explicitly dualistic and Professor Biswas argues that Buber is not dualistic but dialogical. “I am Thou” can be understood as convergence whereas “I and Thou” speaks of a disclosure of the self towards the other so that ultimately there is no “I.” However, unlike Buber Ramu Mama assigns primacy to union and not as much to relation. Still, I see both views as complimentary and subscribe to “I am/and Thou.” Now if only we could teach this, ingrain this in all of us—wouldn’t the world be a much better place? I’m starting with introducing it to all of my students. Sure, some of them don’t get it and think I’m a nutcase but a few do and if I can change the world one ninth grader at a time then I’m happy.

Dr. Biswas was followed by Dr. Ipsita Chanda who presented her paper, “The Idea of Availability in the Work of Ramchandra Gandhi: Contemplating Its Applicability in the Present Continuous.” Dr. Chanda had actually never met Ramu Mama and she tried to discuss how different disciplines have different languages which all of us have experienced when we delve deeply into a certain area of study and these different languages affect the availability of certain ideas. Then Dilip Chitre (Marathi Poet, Activist, Artist, Film Maker) spoke. Mr. Chitre was definitely more of “my people” if that makes any sense. He had lost his son to the Bhopal disaster and Ramuji told him that his son was not a victim but rather a martyr. Dilip-ji spoke about how well Ramu Mama understood his own humanness and how he built up the humanness in others and really this is what made him so very special. He also spoke a great deal about Tyeb Mehta’s “Shantiniketan Triptych” and Ramu Mama’s analysis and interpretation of it. Professor Makarand also had some interesting thoughts on this that I hope he will share with our Philosophy group on April 19th.

After Mr. Chitre’s presentation I had some free time to explore Shantiniketan before the evening’s cultural program. Visiting Shantiniketan has been a dream of mine since I was first introduced to Tagore (let me be clear that I am far from being a scholar of Tagore and am familiar with few of his works but what I do know moves me and touches my heart in indescribable ways). Tagore himself had a very brief and bitter experience of formal education and he did not want his children to have the same experience but he also felt that informal education in his home was not good enough to develop their minds. It was this personal dilemma that led him to thinking of evolving a different type of educational institution. He wanted a beautiful and friendly relationship between students and teachers and classes were to be held in the open shade of the trees. Of course I picked up some books that better detail his educational philosophy to add to my already exhaustive reading list. (I picked up one book in particular written by Devi Prasad who is also connected with the Sevagram Institute, another place I hope to visit.) From the little I do know about Tagore’s educational philosophy it doesn’t differ greatly from the ideas found in the progressive-humanistic school of educational thought. There is a peaceful current throughout the entire campus. Students ride everywhere on their bicycles and Tagore’s love of nature is displayed through all of the beautiful trees and gardens in this “abode of peace.”

The organizer of the conference in honor of Ramu Mama, Professor Asha Mukherjee, chairs the Philosophy and Religion Department. Originally from Jaipur she married a Bengali and has been at Shantiniketan for 27 years after doing her post doc in Indiana. I instantly connected with her irresistibly cute (and chubby—some of you know about my soft spot for chubby children) daughter, Prakriti (nature). Prakriti is in ninth grade and I spent most of the evening walking around the campus with her. She loves Shantiniketan. I asked her what made Shantiniketan so special and she looked at me with these bright, innocent eyes and said, “Everyone that studies at Shantiniketan is exposed to Tagore and even if they leave here with only .01% of Tagore that will make them a better person and then we will have a better world.” I was touched by this very sweet response from a ninth grader and I thought about some of my students and how far removed they are from the reality of this young girl their same age. I then asked her, “What makes Tagore so special?” and she looked up at the sky and said, “Tagore is amazing! What makes him special is his love. His love of nature and of life—the real gold in the world is love and he understood that.” During my travels I keep meeting so many special young people and it gives me hope.

After our stroll around campus the high school students at Shantiniketan put on a play filled with songs and stories from Rabindranath Tagore’s life. Even though I don’t know any Bengali I feel like I understood what I needed to from their performance. I understood that Tagore’s vision is a reality and “Shantiniketan” is a living, breathing institution, it is for real and these kids are just amazing.

After the performance there was a dinner for conference participants and as I walked to the dinner venue another conference attendee came up to me and said, “I think I’ve read your blog “I am Thou.” I began this blog in January and it is just a way for me to archive articles and poems that I find interesting. (Actually, Ramu Mama told me I had to keep a better record of all the things happening in my life since I am so omni-interested and the blog began really as a tribute to him.) Well, Sridhar a theoretical physicist from Mumbai and I engaged in a most interesting conversation about food choices and our prejudices. While we were both born into Tamil Brahmin families he was raised vegetarian but being American my parents did not want to force vegetarianism on me but I actually became vegetarian by choice when I was five after hearing a story about the murdering of a chicken. Vegetarianism and sattvic food was very important to Ramu Mama and he often spoke to me about his strong feelings about vegetarianism from an ethical, environmental and spiritual standpoint. Still, there are deep prejudices in communities regarding veg vs. nonveg. A Tantric teacher I studied with told me that my vegetarianism will limit my real understanding of nonduality and while I can understand the idea that everything is digesting something else and that there is no ultimate wrong or right but rather what is appropriate for whom and when I have to be honest, I have real difficulty with eating meat. I even tried to eat meat when I was in California as a way of getting over what I thought was hidden prejudice towards those who eat meat because I never want to judge anyone but I just couldn’t do it. The veg vs. non-veg divide is something that isn’t widely talked about and Sridhar felt that the Hindu-Muslim riots and communal tensions have a lot to do with veg vs. nonveg, pure vs. impure. How can Hindu’s that believe in vegetarianism and ahimsa resort to violence and fundamentalist measures? Sridhar started to eat meat as a way of bringing about solidarity between his Muslim brothers and sisters and I found this fascinating. Unfortunately I had to leave before he presented his paper “What’s cooking in Sita’s Kitchen?” but he has promised to email it to me and I will surely send it to our Philosophy group. He also told me about John Woodruff, one of the first Westerners to study Tantra who I am now dying to read.

Upon arrival at the dinner there was a storm and a power outage but amidst the darkness I overheard an American accent. I luckily had a flashlight with me and I introduced myself to Professor Kathleen O’Connell an expert on Tagore’s educational philosophy! We had a great discussion about holistic education and I was able to obtain a copy of her book, “Rabindranath Tagore: Poet as Educator” before I left Shantiniketan and as soon as I get some free time I look forward to delving into it. Central to her work are the links she finds between Tagore’s personal life and his ever-developing educational ideas and their implementation. I will report more once I finish reading her book.

On Sunday morning I woke up especially early to have morning tea with Professor Asha Mukherjee and her family. Knowing about my interest in nature and agriculture she invited me over to her organic farm/garden/home in an area of Shantiniketan called “Golden Dust Jungle” the Bengali name sounds much prettier but I will completely butcher the spelling! Her home is literally heaven on earth. She has 25 varieties of mangoes, all sorts of fruits, vegetables, herbs and of course beautiful flowers. Walking around her property reminded me of just how important it is for us to connect with nature. As we sat in her home drinking tea and looking out into her garden through large open windows she gave me some very important advice. I had shared with her my thoughts on how one day I would like to start a school steeped in contemplative education that incorporates the educational philosophies of Ramu Mama’s Sapta Rishis of Modern India. I am hoping to break ground by 2018 either in India or California and in the mean time I am just trying to learn as much as I can and be the best teacher I can be. She told me to spend a few months in one place and completely focus on fine tuning my vision she also felt that I could gain from the rigorous philosophical training a PhD program would provide me and it would also help me solidify my vision. Perhaps I will come back to Shantiniketan for an extended period of time, stay on her farm and really work out the nitty gritty details of this educational institution my svadharma is calling on me to establish. If I am meant to go back to school my heart will tell me when and where but for now I know I need to focus on my classroom and really, truly learning as much as I can.

After spending time with Asha Aunty on her farm I went back to the guest house to grab my luggage before leaving for the morning session. I ate a quick breakfast with the former Vice Chancellor of Shantiniketan. He had actually hired Ramu Mama to teach at Shantiniketan back in the mid-80s. He asked me what made Ramu Mama so special to me and my eyes welled up with tears and all I could say was, “his heart.”

The final session I could attend involved Professor Probal Dasgupta’s presentation on lectures given by Ramu Mama in the Department of Philosophy at the University of Hyderabad from January to April of 1992. He put forth an expert articulation of the main points of Ramu Mama’s thinking. This presentation reminded me of just how fiercely intense Ramu Mama was as an academic. Equating advaita (nonduality) with abhaya (fearlessness) is something I feel deep within me but not something I can articulate but Ramu Mama could using logic, reason and analysis. Professor Dasgupta talked about how Ramu Mama’s theory of courage is advaita and how he embodied Hemingway’s definition of courage as “grace under pressure.” Before he presented his paper I introduced myself to Professor Dasgupta and he told me that “Meena” is a very important name for Ramuji. Not only because of Ramana Maharshi’s connection with the Goddes Meenakshi of Madurai but also because he had fallen in love with the poet Meena Alexander (I read some of her poems in college) back in the 1970s while in Hyderabad. I smiled and thought to myself how beautiful it was that Ramu Mama was this unique romantic with all of this passion for life and love. He told me so many beautiful stories of falling in love and being in love but his most special love was of course for his beloved “Appa” Ramana Maharshi.

After Professor Dasgupta’s presentation I had to grab my backpack and head to the Bholpur station to make my flight out of Kolkata back to Delhi. As I made my way to the train station I started humming the “Shantiniketan” song heard throughout the weekend (English translation of Bengali lyrics at the end of this email) looked up at the sky and just said “thank you” with all my heart. I am so deeply grateful for having known Ramu Mama in such a special way. Even though we are not blood related (who knows, we are both Tam Brahm we could be distantly related!) his picture is on my ancestral altar in my meditation room and I make offerings of dhupam (incense), dipam (light), water and flowers every morning shortly after I rise and I feel closer to him than anyone I’ve ever met. Ramu Mama and I talked often about our trans-global “spiritual families”. His photo is also on my desk at school where I plan my lessons. I still remember him telling me, “Your students should be enquiring, not critical. There is a slight but important difference between the two.” He taught me to think big, listen to my heart and to never feel ashamed about my love of bhakti, singing and praying even though I subscribe to nondual thought. His unshakable faith in the universe was infectious and his genuine concern for everyone and everything made my heart sing in indescribable ways. He helped make India feel so special to me and Delhi will never be the same without him.

On the train ride back to Kolkata I read the Postscript to his beautiful work, “Svaraj.” He writes: “Saints and fakirs in India sometimes give their followers a “talisman,” a sacred mantra to chant, or a sanctified amulet to wear, to assist them in their search for happiness and peace and freedom. Gandhi also offered a talisman, a reflection and a reminder, to his compatriots when they began to lose all hope of attaining svaraj…here is what he [Mahatma Gandhi] said, the substance of his prescription, not his precise words. ‘When, in your search for svaraj, you lose heart or lose your way, do this exercise in imagination: recall the face of the most miserable, downtrodden, human being you have seen, and ask yourself if your way of life is likely to bring that person any closer to a measure of control over his life, closer to svaraj. You will find your doubt and despondency melting away, you journey towards svaraj will have resumed.’” He goes on to write, “The most miserable person I know is the person I see when I look in the mirror, the person I take to be myself, exclusively: my favored self-identity. He is not hungry or homeless or ostracized, his condition is worse. He is self-distorted in his thought “I am this, as opposed to that. We are this, as opposed to that.” He is in bondage. He is the figure in the Magritte painting; self-identified with his human and well-groomed cultural form, who looks in the mirror to find not his face but his back. He has lost his face of self-awareness. If, in this situation of bitter self-acquaintance, I find the grace and strength the enter the mode of self-awareness represented by the thought, ‘I am Self, limitless self-awareness. All humanity, including the human being that I am, all life, all non-living materiality, and also environing nothingness, are Self’s self images, or self-images-in-the-making,’ I will make a healing, liberating contact with the misery of samsara, and enlist in all struggles for svaraj, self-realisation.” (p.216-217)

Philosophy circle: I look forward to seeing all of you at Punam’s opening at Aparna’s Art Gallery shortly after I return from my yearly yatra to Thiruvannamalai with my Chithi’s (Tamil for Aunt) Barbara and Bandana. In addition to the essay on “I am Thou or I and Thou” written by Professor Biswas I have also attached a lovely exercise Barbara shared in a recent Sangha of AES teachers written by Thich Nhat Hanh. Enjoy!

Blessed friends and family, may we all strive to really, truly live “I am Thou.”

“Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high; Where knowledge is free; Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls; Where words come out from the depth of truth; Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection; Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habit; Where the mind is led forward by Thee into ever widening thought and action. Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, Let my country awake.”
– Rabindranath Tagore

With All My Heart,

Meena “Papa”

Shantiniketan Song
“She is our own, the darling, of our hearts, Shantiniketan. Our dreams are rocked in her arms. Her face is a fresh wonder of love every time we see her, for she is our won, the darling of our hearts. In the shadows of her trees we meet, in the freedom of her open sky, Her mornings come and her evenings bringing down heaven’s kisses, making us feel a new that she is our own the darling of our hearts. The stillness of her shades stirred by the woodland whisper; her Amalaki groves are aquiver with the rapture of leaves. She dwells in us and around us, however far we may wander. She weaves our hearts in a song, making us one in music, turning our strings of love with her own fingers; and we ever remember that she is our own, the darling of our hearts.” – Rabindranath Tagore